


The Kiss

by pinkgeranium



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms, A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin
Genre: F/M, Future Fic, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-19
Updated: 2014-11-19
Packaged: 2018-02-26 05:29:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,447
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2639846
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pinkgeranium/pseuds/pinkgeranium
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sandor and Sansa have fled Lord Petyr Baelish at the Gates of the Moon and are on their way to safety when they pause to rest in a forest clearing.</p><p>This is very much a one-shot and is not related to my other SanSan stories.</p><p>Please assume Sansa is aged up although I have not done age calculations for this one.</p><p>As usual characters and setting are the exclusive property of GRRM.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Kiss

**_SANSA_ **

As he lifts her down from the horse she kisses him.  Kisses have become nothing to her in the Vale.  In the Vale she was always expected to kiss someone: Sweetrobin, or Petyr, or Harry the Heir - so he would like Alayne enough to marry her.  So it made sense to kiss Sandor Clegane to thank him for rescuing her.  Kissing him would save her from one of those terrible conversations where she tried to stammer out her thanks and he tore them to pieces with his harsh words; and anyway it wasn’t as though she hadn't kissed him before. 

So as he lifts her from her horse she brushes his lips with hers and something happens.  The kiss spreads through her body like fire from her lips, to her fingers, to the tips of her toes and she finds herself holding onto him, pulling him closer and he responds wrapping his strong arms around her.  One of his hands reaches up and tangles in her hair at the base of her neck so he can hold her lips to his.  And then, without warning he pushes her away so sharply that she staggers to stay on her feet.

“Why did you do that?  Why did you kiss me?” he asks.  She tries to focus on his face but her head is spinning; and her heart is thumping; she can’t seem to catch her breath and her body feels like it is burning up from the inside.  “Lady Sansa?”  Her name sounds strange on his tongue and she realises that he never uses it.  In King’s Landing he’d always called her something else.  For a moment she is back there: when he looked away from her nakedness in the throne room and gave her his cloak; when he saves her from the mob; and in her room the night of the Blackwater. She sees it all in an instant and she realizes that he has never kissed her before.

Then the memories fade and she is back in the clearing bent at the waist, struggling to catch her breath. She feels as though her head has only just stopped spinning.  She looks up at him.  He is standing a good distance away from her watching her with a look she can't place. 

“You love me? You’ve been in love with me this whole time?”  He doesn’t answer her.  He doesn’t deny it.  Suddenly another wave of memories from King’s Landing sweeps over her and she is filled with rage.  She throws herself across the clearing at him and pounds on his chest with her fists.  He doesn’t try to stop her. “What is wrong with you?  You drew your sword on me?  You held a knife to my throat?  You said awful, hateful things to me?  That’s not how you treat the person you love!” Then her hands still and she is clinging to his robes.  “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“What would I have said?  You were the king’s betrothed and I was the King’s dog.  Your father was a High Lord, your family have been High Lords or Kings for 8000 years.  My grandfather was kennel master to the Lannisters.  I have no riches and no lands.  I’m not handsome like Loras Tyrell.  If anyone had known I would have been the laughing stock of King’s Landing; and Joffrey would have loved to poke at my weak spot.  He would have had me stand at guard at his chamber door on your wedding night while he made you scream.”  She shudders.  “At least if no one knew I could stay close to you; keep you as safe as I could.”

“And then you left me,” she pushes away from him.

“I asked you to come with me.”

“And you never waited for my answer!  Did it never occur to you that I was half in love with you the whole time? That all it would have taken was a couple of kind words or a kiss like that and I would have gone with you anywhere.  I spent the night you left wrapped up in your stupid white cloak.  I even convinced myself that you’d kissed me that night.  When others would kiss me I would tell myself that was not how the Hound kissed me.  But you never kissed me – did you?  Not until tonight?”

“No I never kissed you before tonight; and I still have no kind words.  But I do have a safe place for you to go; I plan to take you to my brothers on the Quiet Isle, you will be safe there and on the journey.  I promise no harm will come to you from me or anyone else.”

“So the robe’s not just a disguise, you really are a monk?”

“A novice.”

“A novice?  When you are the one who told me there were no gods?”

“I was mistaken.”

“No you weren’t!  If there were gods they would never have let me fall in love with a black-hearted villain like you!  It’s true what you told me about the songs too – they are nothing but lies.”

“Sansa what did you just say?”

“I said you were right about the gods and the songs and I called you a black-hearted villain.  Now get on your horse and go away.  Leave me behind.  Go back to your Quiet Isle.” 

 

 

**_SANDOR_ **

She has just told him to leave but it is Sansa who is walking away from him; away into the trees.  She is unsteady on her feet and seems to trip over a tree root, falling against the trunk of a tree for support.  It takes time for him to catch up with her on his bad leg, but though he can hear her sobbing he wisely chooses not to speak again until he is close enough to touch her.

“You know what I wanted to hear again,” he speaks so softly he isn’t sure she will hear him.

“The part where I said that I loved you,” she whispers.

He doesn't know how it happened but suddenly she is in his arms and he's stroking her hair.

“Do you know how long it took me to realise I was in love with you?  I couldn’t work out why I told you that story about Gregor. The day I knew for sure was the day Joffrey took you up to the battlements and made you look at your father’s head and I saw you meant to push him off and to go over with him. I stepped in between you because I couldn’t bear the thought of a world without you in it.  You are so beautiful and so brave.  There is nothing I can ever do to deserve your love.  I grew up in darkness and I have lived in it all my life.  I am not a good man.  I stood by and I let other men hurt you but that I will never do again.  My heart - as black and villainous as it may be - belongs to you.  I will die for you.  I will kill for you.  I will serve you and I will ask for nothing in return.  I am yours to command.  I will keep you safe.  I promise you I will never leave you and I beg you not to send me away.”

“No – no I can’t bear to have you near me.  I can’t bear to look at you.  You need to go.”

“I can’t leave you out here by yourself.  I swear I won’t hurt you.  I swore to protect you from everyone, including myself.  I will get you to a safe place and then if you want I will leave you, for good this time.  You need never see me again.”

She is holding onto him so tightly, her clenched fists are knotted in the material of his robes and she is crying hard.  Her words are telling him one thing and her body another.  Whatever she truly wants there is no way he can leave her alone in this forest.  He has no idea what is going on in her head.  First she kissed him, then she hit him and yelled at him and now she is holding him close after she has told him to leave her – and somewhere in the middle of all that they have both declared their love.  Life really is nothing like the songs.  

“Little bird, can you tell me why you’re so upset?” 

“You stupid man.”  She pushes away from him.  “Don’t you understand – it's too late.  I’m married to Tyrion Lannister," she sobs, "I'm upset because I can never be yours.” 


End file.
